Wednesday, July 9, 2025

50'ye az kala...

 "Genellikle gizemlere ilgi duyarız — görülmeyene, duymadığımıza, anlatılmamış olana. Ancak kendi hayatımız böylesi bir gizemin içinde kaldığında — biz görmezden gelindiğimizde, yanlış anlaşıldığımızda ya da hikâyenin dışında bırakıldığımızda — bu durum bizde huzursuzluk hatta öfke yaratır.

Ne büyük bir paradoks, insanı düşündürüyor!"

Wednesday, October 9, 2024

Note to Maya, note to humanity...

We stood together in solidarity, refusing to be mere spectators. We marched and raised our voices, chanting: free Palestine. Our choices spoke volumes as we boycotted certain brands and supported local alternatives, showing that our economic power can make a difference. We gave to NGOs like IHH and reached out directly to individuals, such as Afra from Jabalia refugee camp, forming personal bonds that transcend borders. We sent essential resources, like water, to offer a lifeline and hope.

At our dinner tables, conversations about your struggle taught our children the values of gratitude and empathy. In our prayers, we sought to embody your resilience and honor your sacrifices. While acknowledging the imperfections among us all, we affirm that no one deserves to be a target of mass violence without justice.

Your legacy endures in our hearts and souls, a testament to your strength and the universal pursuit of peace and justice.


Wednesday, December 2, 2020

A'raf Ehline Selam

Uzun zaman sonra yine ben, yeniden siz.

Dün gece düşündüm. Bir otobiyografi yazacak olsam, mühim olan ben mi olurdum, konu mu. Adım sanım belli olmasa. Uzman 3 olarak bir ifade versem. Bir mahlas kullansam ama sözümün, tespitimin ağırlığı olsa ve yine siz ilgi duysanız, değer verseniz. Mümkün mü? Mümkün. O halde yeniden yazmaya başladım. Kardeş'ceğizim tam da bugün 'içinden geldiği gibi, her gün bir yardım saatliğine de olsa yaz,' dediği gün. Bugün... Ve buradayız. 

Uzaya doğru seslenmek, geçmişe, geleceğe, anın içinden size hiç bir zaman anlayamayacağım bir kavram olacak. Veya tüm DNA'mla anladığım dolayısıyla hep yaşadığım. Dolu dolu. 

Pandemi dönemindeyiz. Söyleyecek çok söz birikti, paylaşılacak nice fikir, görüş, deneyim var.

Zamanla adım adım. Zerre zerre... 

Çok merak ediyordum, bugün bir soruma yanıt geldi. Müzisyenler, sanatçılar, artistler ne yapmaktalar bu dönemde? Herkes evlerine kapanmışken... Müzisyen canlar

Sokaktakiler, gecekondularda yaşayanlarla ilgili de bir haber gelmişti. Raporu paylaşacağım linkle. Üzüldüm. Ama fark ettim yine yeniden uzaydayız, kendi başımıza ve yalın ayak. Sanki A'raf'ta gibi. Bir yan cennet, bir yan cehennem ve biz, ama hepimiz arada... Derin yoksul canlar

Hala bilmediğim ise zaten uçurumun kenarındakiler. Uyuşturucu satıcıları, fahişeler, bir zindanda kapalı tutulan esirler (evet bence onlar hala varlar!). Hep zor durumdaydınız. Peki şimdi? 

Her ne kadar şimdi ağlasak da... Ağla sevdam

Güzel günler göreceğiz çocuklar... 

"Ağırlıklarını kaldırır, üzerlerindeki zincirleri çözer." A'râf Suresi - 157. Ayet 

Allah hepimizin Rabbi. Ve rahmeti hepimizi kuşatmıştır. Ben, sen, günahkar, alim ayrımı olmaksızın. Bu bilinçle, sevgiyle, biraz derme çatma ama taze, dilerim ki sımsıcak bir merhaba. 



Monday, June 5, 2017

Yet another couple of years have passed and here I am. Alive, still in the Netherlands, teaching, researching, and loving... Today a new chapter is opening. The change is in the air. It has been a long time the vibe has been here and now I am looking from my inner space to life, earth and the solar system with sparkling eyes and fully ready body. Life here you are and I accept your wish to walk with me. Cheers! 

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Random coin flipping

When I was a child, I never kept a journal. My sister did. I was always curious what she found to write about every day. Now that I am keeping this blog (and, yes I am keeping it), I realize there is a value to it. It is not like every detail of my life is here like it would be in a typical journal. But at a higher level, I believe there is a good amount of notes to trace back what I have been through and to reflect on.
It has been raining cats and dogs for four days now and I have been in my cave thinking. Then I wanted to write and remembered the existence of this blog. I read the last post and crashed in tears. Since my last post, can my world change so much? It had actually gone upside down, I realize. How did I end up being a professor? In a totally different country? By myself. Sometimes, I feel like an alien thrown out to live this particular life. As if, there are millions of light years between the old and the new. Of course, it is not like I have no roots to remind me of who I am. I definitely do. I love my parents, my sister, and my husband. But as I am alone in this 40m2 one-room house for three days now, working on a presentation, watching an entire season of Breaking Bad, meditating, and making it till dawn, I feel like a coin. One side heads: Where am I? Why am I here? What am I doing? I do feel loved and loving but all from a distance. Where is everybody? When is my show going to begin? Is it going to begin? And the other side tails: This is like what I dreamt when I was a kid though that house was much smaller and in the middle of nowhere. Hell yes, I am enjoying every bit of this whatever we can call it the scene / chain of moments / life more than ever and this time I know the only way is up and forward.
Oh God, the Holy Mother help us with the whole new world we are creating...



Tuesday, September 6, 2011

One life from now, I am done with my PhD. I still struggle with the econometrics but who doesn't? (: I thought I have chosen the job of my life, now I know I have actually chosen to the path to my spirit. So betrayal would have meant not just quitting a degree but lying to myself. I had to convince everyone that I was on the right track and yesss I am... I still see the question marks in some people's eyes. Is that really you Perry? Of course, you would not recognize me, since I change. Every step of this preparation period (may I call it apprenticeship) was a step towards who I wanted to be: a fair-minded human with a decent life. I chose a man who loves me, we are building a new way together -- I sometimes picture us with a little loved one. But s/he has her own time as well. Looking forward...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

A lifetime away!

Yes, it has been almost a year... In a different world, with a different me and with different concerns, I feel like I am in a new life. Can a person die and reborn in just one life? Good to have a place i.e. this site that feels like home. Otherwise wouldn't have realized this journey. After so long, I did yoga today, feeling my muscles, being aware of my posture, breathing felt so good. I feel your precious memory, Irma, you made yoga so beloved part of me. I didn't know I was flexible, nor did I know that I could quit and start all over again. Though I still haven't made it to India or Indonesia, I believe I'll find my way there one day, in another life, as well. Tonight, I pray for your blesses soul!